A strange cup of tea (revised)

"Sorry guys, I'm not coming back with you, I've been promised some sex". Not a very expected comment when you have been hanging around with the filming team all night and everyone seem to be on the verge of falling asleep where they stand.

And of course those weren't the words Magnus Pedersen really used, because who is even mentioning sex, when it's for real? When walking by a café, you might overhear someone commenting their extraordinary experience last night, how they took this and that home and went all the way in a couple of minutes. So people talk about it in public, who cares? It's in the past! But then again, if it were the other way around, and they were actually about to go somewhere and get intimate, would they say it? Probably not. Pedersen gave the perfect example: "Sorry guys, I'm not coming back with you, I've been promised some tea".

Let's say your younger sister - that you only see once every other month - comes over from Stockholm to stay with you for a week. You'll have the responsibility for her during this time - and hey, it'll be really nice but... You will get NO time over for your boyfriend. Your sister will know this, and when you leave her in the kitchen with a schizophrenic actor/waiter/student, to go and "sort some books" together with your boyfriend behind closed doors in the other room, she won't need a calculator to figure out what you're really doing.
Or how about the time when the clock is growing closer to half two AM, and you're making your way past your house together with this really hot girl you've been dancing with the whole evening. You know what you want, and maybe you'll ask gently if she wants to "join in on a cup of tea, before going home"? It's all so very innocent. But it's a game.

Some people believe it to create some kind of excitement in denying what they're really after. This way they can pretend that they won't know if their partner is thinking the same way as they, until they stand there undressing each other. Others would just call them "hypocritical twats", who don't dare speak their real mind. Who are they kidding? "You won't drink one ruddy cup!" chuckles a hearty voice in the back of Hjalmar's head as he heads for his car.

The most hilarious, and at the same time the most tragic, thing is when they come back the next hour to say that they just had a really nice cup of tea or whatever, and that they just sat there discussing life and salad. Of course you did. You just chose not to use words. So after leaving her sister in the kitchen for an hour, in the company of this multiclass personality, she comes back with her boyfriend as if nothing has happened. The younger sister asks "Where were you?". Why does she ask that? To dare her to tell the truth? They both know that they both know. So does the lunatic and so does the boyfriend. And it turns out that the boyfriend is the first one to speak; "We sorted books".

"How about it, hot stuff, want to go sort some books? I got a really big book shelf. Yeah, the books just keep on coming. (Or is that spelled with two m's and a u? I never get it right) See, I've been sorting a lot of books and I know where to place them so.. You on? Great!" Go screw a dictionary. There is no tea.

Choose your destiny

Let's say you just get three choices. They will decide the entire outcome your life and there will be no turning back once you've chosen. The other option is to choose one and excel, or all and be someone in between.

Hjalmar Nordén, actor, honest worker, explorer or whatever. Due to the recent successes, raining down upon him from seemingly every direction, he finds himself lost among all the golden roads sprouting around his feet. "I definitely don't want to brag. It would be so much easier if I had simply failed with most things so that I could focus on the one that I got away all right with", he says with a tired smile. "Until now I've just enjoyed triumph after triumph and felt happy with doing so many things at one time".

Still, when one notices how the people around him seem to put so much energy into their one passion, you can't help but wonder how far you can get with one foot on the throttle and the other on the breaks. "This is people who seem to know what they want to do. They do their work during the day, then put their full energy into doing a great performance during the evening. They prepare, build up and unleash. Myself, I want to perform well at my part-time job, on the set and at my other part-time job. I need set working hours for my hobbies as well to be able to take them seriously, because once I get home to my computer I just waste my time and there's no satisfaction to it either way".

Let's say you get three choices:

• Become a star actor. Friends and family compliment your acting skills and say that they like your work. You love standing on stage, entertaining people, sending emotions and receiving their response. This would involve great risks in an insecure business and you would miss the opportunity to get a steady position at a good working place.
  
• Do prominent environmental work. You have participated in international environmental conferences on four continents in more than eight countries, you have a part-time job at an environmental institution and only need a couple more years of studies to start working seriously within the field and help the earth become a healthier planet. Doing this would nail you at home for several more years to come.
  
• Explore the world. You have studied the language of an exotic country for two years and now you get the opportunity to get a full-time job there with a great pay and lots of opportunities to travel around the other side of the globe. This way you'll leave everything back home behind for a long time.
  

"I got a compliment the other day that I resembled a famous actor. I was happy to hear it, since I fancy that particular actor myself. But when I think about it, how far would I get from resembling someone else?". Maybe most important of all is whether someone really could enjoy a victory that has already been taken by somebody else, especially when you don't have to fight for it, like the person before you. "I believe in hard work. I want to feel that I've fought for my successes. And I feel that I have, this far. But now they're starting to turn somewhat mediocre. The compliments I receive seem to be out of date". Grades are going down, quality time is scarce and he barely knows his lines for the film he has been longing so much to be a part of. It meant so much for him, yet he neglects it along with his studies.

"I simply have too many choices right now. I get to decide my own working hours, I decide when or whether I want to study and I decide when I want to improve my acting skills. With no time put aside specifically for these things, they seem like precious things put in tidy boxes, waiting for their time to shine. I love doing all these things, so what I fear most right now is that someone would feel that they are down-prioritised". So when will he give them time? Now? "Yes. I'm going to do it right now. This battle is far from over and I'm going to study my lines for the rest of this night if that's what's needed. Tomorrow there will be a fire and I plan to be in complete control of it. Some might call it being stubborn and impulsive, I call it me".
As you might have noticed, I need to have these key points in my life when I decide to do things for real. Over and over again.