Breadcrumbs

I had been walking for hours. I almost felt like I had dedicated my life, my soul, all my waking energy, just to follow the path ahead of me. I didn't know for certain, but I might even have spent several days scrambling down that silent forest path.

It had begun with a breadcrumb. I had found it there, at the edge of the forest. At that time, I had gone hungry for at least a week, never anticipating I'd be eating anything for a long time to come. Still, there it lay. A small breadcrumb, nestled in between an odd rock - shaped like a petrified frog - and a wild fern. I picked it up, smelled it, and instinctively knew that it was part of something big. Something new. Something that - should I find its source - would feed me for years to come.

I looked around. There had to be more of them. And indeed there were. Not far ahead, a little bit further into the forest, lay another crumb, this time quite visible on an old tree stump. I quickly made my way over to it, picked it up, and put it in my pocket. There was no time to eat it now. No point in eating it now. If I kept eating one crumb at a time, I might lose focus on the larger goal ahead.

And on it went. One crumb led to the next. Sometimes they were well hidden, at other times they were out in the open. My anticipation rose with every crumb, for I truly felt that the more of these crumbs I collected, the further along the right path I would come. A strange sensation had filled me up - I felt that if I collected enough crumbs, they just might feed me for the rest of my life.

But then, all of a sudden, the pattern was broken. Just as I spotted the next crumb, a rather big one lying straight in front of me on a twig shaped like a snake, something else caught my attention. Just behind the crumb was a large neon sign. It flashed eagerly, with clear colours showing an indisputable message; "Free cookies". On one of its sides was a neon arrow, pointing towards a small table, set up clearly, there on the side of my forest trail.

I hesitated. Surely I had set out on this quest of picking up breadcrumbs with a goal. With a purpose. I had started to collect the nourishment of my life. Still, there lay a whole plate of cookies. More cookies than I could ever eat in a whole year, or two. The sure looked delicious. Maybe... Maybe if I just enjoyed those cookies for a while, that would do it for me. Maybe I wouldn't ever have to continue this never-ending quest of picking up breadcrumbs, should I decide to sit down and just bury myself in these delightful-looking sweet breads.

The temptation got the best of me. Led from my trail, I made my way over to the plate of cookies and started to eat. They were delicious. Truly, I had not realised how starved I was, until I took that first bite. Rich, soft and with a deliciously crisp exterior, these cookies were truly a piece of art. I stood there for a while, eating cookies, feeling the sun on my back and enjoying the calm of the forest. It almost felt like I could stand there forever, with this never-ending plate of perfect cookies. However, after a while, I started to feel that something was amiss.

I hadn't started this track looking for cookies. I had set out looking for breadcrumbs. The breadcrumbs of my life, that would nourish me for the rest of my days, even if this would mean that I'd have to spend my whole life collecting them. I lowered my hand, staring at the half-eaten cookie tucked in between my thumb and forefinger. It sure was a nice cookie. But I wasn't looking for cookies.

I put it back on the plate, brushing my hands on the side of my trousers. I said a quiet "thank you" to the neon sign and whatever benevolent force that had decided to lay out this marvellous plate of cookies for anyone passing by. Then I started to look around for the next breadcrumb.

At first, I couldn't find it. A strange fear started to fill me up. What if someone else had found the trail during the time I spent eating cookies? What if a stray bird had decided to pick up one of the crumbs, while I was distracted with my short-term goal of stuffing myself with sweet bread?

I almost panicked. I had acted on a shallow whim. A whim of just taking the sweetest - and perhaps the most clearly available - thing I saw, hoping that it would fill the hole in my stomach and not considering what I would do later on, should I run out of cookies or grow tired of their sweetness. I had been acting like a child.

But then I saw it. Far, behind the neon sign, in a small clearing. There lay another little crumb, warm from the sun and ready to be picked up. I almost had a sensation of the crumb silently telling me "That's right. You could have lost it all by now, but it looks like you will get away this time". But of course, that was just my imagination. As I picked it up, it was just one more of the crumbs. I could see another, further ahead. Filled with relief and gratitude of having realised what would be best for myself in the long run, I took one quick glance back at the neon sign and the pile of cookies.

The amount of cookies didn't seem to have diminished at all from when I first found it, and at the back of the sign I could now read the words: "Should you change your mind, here will be cookies".

"Thank you, but no thank you", I thought to myself. "I'm not looking for cookies. I'm looking for breadcrumbs."