Addictive ideals

Who decides whether an addiction is bad for you? How can something that you love and makes you happy be an addiction? Is it when it feels like sticking with is bad for you that it's bad, or is it when being without it makes you unhappy that it's bad?

"I love computer games", says multi-purpose vacuum cleaner Hjalmar Nordén, as he takes a large chew at the fresh just-out-of-the-oven newspaper in his hand "But I wouldn't go as far as to calling it an addiction, because I don't feel bad without them and I never let them get in the way of things that need doing in the real world."

He claims that he has gotten out of the bad habit of evading social life and pushing away seemingly impossible dreams, as he did as a lost adolescent. We all have things that need doing around us; cleaning, washing up, managing your household etc. and realising that a computer game won't make those needs go away is probably one step in the right direction. But then again, if you keep these things in line with your own conscious ideal, is it still really healthy to sit six hours straight, pretending to be a jedi in a fictional world? Is your ideal healthy?

"Make yourself" said the alternative rock group Incubus on their album in 1999, trying to reach people who know that they want to do something but avoid doing it because of fears, habits or ideals.

As he slows down and reflects on his mental life, Hjalmar realises that as of late he has become increasingly frustrated at work and when he is not spending time in front of the computer screen. So where does this seemingly unprovoked and most likely pointless anger come from when he is realising his ideals, keeping physical condition near tip-top, trimming his acting skills has gotten into a well-reputed musical theatre school? "I thought about this for a while", he says "and it's not when and because I'm playing the computer games that I feel frustrated, but nor is it because I'm not playing them. I realised that my real source of irritation came from me thinking of the things I could have done instead of playing, when I'm not playing."

Most people have an ideal. Hjalmar's does not play computer games. It does read a lot though. "I really really like gaming, but I can't get this ideal out of my head and it's starting to bother me. I suppose you could say that I've become addicted to an ideal."

The frustration here comes from Hjalmar thinking of how he could have practiced piruettes instead of helping his fictional friends escape from the Sith aboard the Leviathan. But then again, if he had been working instead of relaxing in between standing on stage, eating, commuting and sleeping, he would strain his brains out. So why isn't he allowed to play the computer games? -Because his ideal wouldn't. His ideal would sit down with a good book, perhaps down a small whiskey or let his creativity flow in his blog or in the book he's writing himself. "Sure, I like doing all those things, but if I'm more in the mood to play a computer game, should I not allow myself to do so?"

But perhaps we don't always need to do things that give us a sense of fulfillment, that lets us create something and that will create order in our lives. Instead, perhaps we all need to do things that we don't need to do. Hjalmar tries to wrap it all up; "Right. While fulfilling your dreams and ideals is a goal as admirable as any, it would of course still be destructive, should it turn into an addiction (or obsession) of always getting better and not stopping to enjoy the things that are just fine". In other words, we should pay our ideals just enough mind so that following them won't make us unhappy.

It can be quite a pinch and a constant problem in the developed countries, deciding on whether or not one should allow oneself to relax and enjoy things one doesn't need, or if one should keep on fighting for one's ideal all day long. Admittedly, the latter does seem a bit dry. But then again, if the ideal is dry, then one is probably on the right way.