When only the forbidden tempts

The gadget you get all fired up about, just because buying it would leave you without cash for food the rest of the month. The girl you want just because she is by far "too hot for you". The relationship that you would gladly be involved in, when a moment ago you would do anything not to be tied up. Do you even deserve giving it a try?

Rings a bell? Everyone is looking for something, it's simply a part of human nature. Even those who claim that they have no wants or need at all, strive towards keeping it that way. Should this natural curiosity be taken away from us, life would be gray, monotonous and to some people unbearable.

So what's the deal? Why want something that you know you can't have? Leading psychiatrist and expert in human sciences Hjalmar Nordén gives the following example: "That girl you have been checking out the whole night - Yeah, you never knew they grew that hot - she most probably wouldn't fancy your style. No way, she would like someone like... Him. Yeah, he who is going up to her right now and - was I right or what - is leaving with her within five minutes. Well I'm sure he will have a nice evening, and you can go back to bed. Well fought". What he means by this, he explains, is that many people have a tendency to underestimate themselves, when overwhelmed by the attractiveness of someone that has the "perfect visage". They also have a tendency to have no doubts what so ever, that every one else in the room would consider him/her just as perfect.

"But to your left" he goes on, "stands your best mate, hitting on a girl you wouldn't bring back home even if you were paid for it". He pauses for a second. "That came out wrong, don't print that. But you get my point, eh?" He takes a deep breath and tries to refer to the 'old saying' "Your taste is like your ass, just mind your own and let everybody else have theirs" (Swedish: "Smaken är som baken, kluven").

The point Hjalmar is referring to, according to lingual specialist Claes Ek, is that if you think something is too good for you, that is reason enough for you to deserve it. "Because then you can give the appreciation it, he or she deserves" he comments. The guy who is coming in and grabs the girl in front of you might think not think that she is more than just OK, but picks her because he believes he has a chance. If you consider yourself better-looking than somebody else, you might believe yourself to have the upper hand, and maybe you do; you act more confident and give a straight-forward impression that you are interested her. But still, maybe you would be more interested yourself, yet you don't show it because you still stand there and consider her "too good for you". She IS too good for you, and that is why you deserve her.

If you don't get what you really want, you might accept it, but you would be happier if you had it. There you have it - materialistic happiness. Some people never get satisfied until they have the most expensive clothes, the perfect jewelry, the fastest computer and so on. But how far does our sense of possession stretch? Obviously, some will even see other people as their belongings and - since they're belongings must be tip-top - try to estimate the value of those people to make sure they have the best. Others see them simply as means of getting more expensive belongings. "The difficult part is to decide when to give up and be happy with what you've got. Generally I make that decision after I have tried to get the best, but failed. If you believe that the grass is greener on the other side, check it out for yourself - for what it's worth - and you will know."

(Note: I'm NOT encouraging infidelity, if that's how you interpret it, but if you feel that you are longing for the other side of the fence you probably have a problem - deal with it first.)