Life is an article

It really is. The things that you and I do are just as scandalous or business-like as we want them to be. All that matters is how we want them to look.

If I'm a bad writer, chances are good that I'll make an adventure look just as grey as the dust - that keep sticking to my feet every bloody time I try putting them in that warm, cosy spot - just behind the subwoofer. At least this way it's evenly distributed in the room.

If I'm good, a rainy day might turn out just as colourful as the puddle of puke somebody gratefully left next to my toilet. You almost made it this time!

My life is an article, and I just discovered the scoop of my life. I'd like to address the following issues:

• How many of us convince ourselves that being ethical just gets you knackered
• How low density chicken farming equals 7 hens per m² and if that could be applied to the density of babies in a daycare home
• How a nunchaku can be used to fan away unwanted gases from under your bed cover
• How everyone wants to talk about their jobs but no one wants to hear about it
• How your really creative moments only turn up when you need to be in bed
• How dull it all gets when you're not the main character in your own life

There will be no more things that I want to do or ought to try. I'll just bloody well go and do them. My life will be my article.